she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
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6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
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I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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