Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Boobs are out for the taking
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
