I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I currently don't understand fingers.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
