I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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