Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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