so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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