That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
