then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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