guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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