Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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