pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
