I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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