if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
