Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Mom said you looked used
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
