your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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