using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
