the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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