Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
