Why are handjobs necessary in class?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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