i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize