How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
