My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
