do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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