During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
