Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
