Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
