no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize