think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
