at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Its about making memories worth repressing
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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