My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize