i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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