her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
