Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he fucked my hip out of place.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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