yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
