My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
