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• (707): View more from California

  last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV

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• (949): View more from California

  ... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are

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• (845): View more from New York

  You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!

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• (323): View more from California

  We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off

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• (310): View more from California

  I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.

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