It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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