I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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