corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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