I accidentally had phone sex last night
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
