You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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