Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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