whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...