thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
