new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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