Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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