i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
