my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
