I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize