did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
