chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
