Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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