Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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