careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
