theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
