who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
