Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
