Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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