There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize