is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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