oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Please don't give away my fajitas
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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