i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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