Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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