I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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