sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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