i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
